You Look Just Like Him
by Kaarie X
Summary: There's a reason why Tim's so hard on Curly... Warning:Language, child abuse, domestic violence, ect.
1. That Bastard

This is my second one-shot! :D well, maybe, thats for you guys to decide.

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><p>"Because I fucking said so, Curly!" I yelled from across the room.<p>

"Why the fuck do ya' keep treating me like this, Tim? I'm not a fucking dog!" Curly fired back at me, opening the front door to leav.

"Curly, what the fuck did I just say? Get back in here!" My words fell on death ears.

Curly continued to stomp away from the house to defy my orders.

I let out a sigh and walked to my room.

The house was now empty, Angela was out at Buck's, I had no idea where that old woman is, and Curly just left to go to Buck's too.

I don't realy know why I snapped at Curly for wanting to go to Buck's, I guess it was just instinct. I always get realy angry when i'm around Curly, you see.

So here I am, alone, in this dingey, shit-hole of a house with nothing to do, but lay down in my bed, stare at the ceiling, and contemplate my life so far.

And that's exactly what I did.

I wanted to think about what happened between me and Dallas last week, and plot on how I was gonna get him back...

but _that memory_ kept up on me again. _That terrible memory_.

I thought I was finished remembering _that memory_ for the day when Curly walked out, but then again, it has been getting progressively worse lately.

Haunting me for all these years...

Kreeping up in my mind whenever i'm near my younger brother...

Making me feel so ashamed of myself...

So I gulpped and tensed up to prepare myself for the memory to play over in my mind again.

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><p><em>I was seven years old, Angela five, and Curly four.<em>

_Our real dad was still with us at the time. I guess you could say he was an O.K. guy around this time, at least, that's how he acted. He was a great father... to Curly and Angela. To me, however... well, sometimes he forgets my name, if that woud give you a hint as to how he was to me._

_But one day, I found out the hard way that there was something darker underneith that average, low-classed shell. . ._

_It was my seventh birthday._

_We didn't have a party or anything, it was more of a small meeting._

_A few neighbors and friends came over. Everyone brought their own dish to serve while my mother only had to my the cake. There were about six other kid in the neighborhood that came over._

_After the cake was cut and served, the kids were all crowded into my room to play while the adults got drunk._

_I only had four presents and a total of forty-five dollars. When I was counting my money... my father came in and... told me to come with him so he couuld give me his present._

_I know this probably doesn't sound all that special to you, but that was the best thing i've ever heard my dad say in my life. Just the fact that he wanted to give something to me was amazing..._

_My dad brought me into his and my mom's room, and locked the door. Then he closed the windows and the curtains and switched off the lights, making the room darken. It wasnt very dark, but it was still hard to make out where one object ended and where another began._

_Dad set me down on his bed and stood there, staring at me._

_I could barely see the strange smile he had on his face._

_I ask, "Where is my present, daddy?"_

_"You'r present is a game, a game only adults can play. You wanna be an adult, Timmy?"_

_My heart fluddered when he said my name without going "uh, um" or pausing to search his mind for the right name._

_I eagerly nodded to his question and said, "Yes."_

_"Good," My dad said in a deep voice, "Take your clothes off."_

_I just sat there, confused._

_He continued, "Do you wanna be a big boy, Tim?" I nodded excitedly, "Do you want Daddy to love you forever?" I gasped and nodded with more excitment, "Than you have to follow my rules. Okay?"_

_I nodded, normally this time._

_I slowly did what I was told, and propped my back up against the headboard of the bed._

_I then watched as he took his clothes off, and crawled onto the bed, pulling me by my leg so that I was laying on back, underneith him._

_I started to get nervous when he kissed along my collar bone, and cleared I my throte a few times._

_"Daddy?" I ask, "What are da other rules to this game?"_

_He chuckled, "Well, you can't tell anyone about what we're doing, because they'll see how good you are at it and get jealous. And you can't scream, because everybody in the house would know how good you'r doing, and get jealous. Then, you have to play this game twice a day, got it?"_

_"W-Why twice?"_

_"That's just how the game goes." He chuckled again, then ran his tongue from the bottum of m neck, up to my ear, swirling it around a few times before sticking it all the way in._

_I shivered._

_He started running his hands down my body and stopped right above my "privite" area._

_I gulpped, "Are you supposed to do this, Daddy?"_

_"Of course I am. Now, quit complaining, that makes you lose points." I shut my mouth real tight when he said that._

_He began moving his fingers up and down my shaft, making me feel unconfortable. Then he moved his hand lower and lower, and without warning, stuck a finger into my role._

_I immediatly yelpped and tensed up. _

_He threw his free hand over my mouth and said, "Remember, we don't want everyone else to get jealous." I nodded._

_I felt him move his finger around inside me for a few seconds._

_He moaned, saying, "Oh yeah, I think you'r ready for the next part."_

_I nodded unsurely and covered my mouth with both of my hands, positive that I was gonna feel something, I wasn't sure what, but, something in a few moments._

_My dad yanked his finger out, making me wince, and placed something way bigger at my enterence._

_I didn't know what it was at the time, but I know now that it was his. . . his. . . Oh, you know what I mean!_

_He just stayed like that for a while, chuckling. Me? I was wimpering, waiting, regretting._

_Without any type of warning, he shoved himself in, and I let out a loud scream into my hand. Luckily, (I guess) I wasn't loud enough for anyone outside of the room to hear._

_My Dad didn't hold back once, he just kept going faster and harder._

_I stuck my hand in my mouth and bit down on it to distract me from the pain, but it didn't realy help much._

_After I don't know how long, I felt something wet come out of him, and he pulled out._

_Tears were all over my face and I couldn't stop crying. I was completely overtaken by pain, and I just couldn't move._

_My dad smacked me in the back of my head when he got irritated from my crying._

_"Shut the fuck up," he said with a growl, "I thought you were a big boy."_

_I was able to hold back the tears long enough to say, "I-I am a big boy!"_

_"Well start acting like one n' shut the fuck up! Quit it with that fuckin' baby, whiny shit. Big boys don't cry, got it?" I could only nod._

_He then threw his clothes on and sat beside me, rubbing my hair back soothingly. "Don't think that just because I cursed at you like that means I don't love you," He said softly, "I do love you. Okay? I just have to talk to you like you'r tuff since you'r growin' up. Okay?"_

_I nodded, blinded by his lies. I can't believe I actually listened to that. . . that. . . monster._

_He helpped me get dressed and put me back in my room where all the kids were. I just laid down in my bed though, I didn't realy feel like doing anything for the rest of the night._

_Curly eventually laid down right beside because he was tired, and he was to lazy to walk all the way to his room._

_I didn't get any sleep that night because I was just amazed by the fact that. . ._

**_Curly looks just like Dad. . ._**

_We continued to play that "game" for the next four years, and being the desperate-for-daddy's-love kind of kid that I was, I never, ever suspected a thing. I never got used to the pain when we played the "game", in fact, if anything, the pain only got worse and worse by each passing day._

_"Okay Timmy," My dad sais one day, "This time, we're gonna do something a little different for the game."_

_I, clearly being blinded by his lies, was stupid enough to think, _"I must've leveled up!"

_Dad told me to get down on my knees and to take my shirt off. And I did. Once I was done doing that, he pushed his jeans down just past his waist and pulled his. . . "thing" out of his boxers. The damn bastard was already as hard as a fuckin' rock._

_He then told me to open my mouth and close my eyes. And I did.__ As you would guess, the bastard stuck his "thing" in my mouth. Bastard, I nearly choked on that thing._

_The horny fuck didn't even give me a chance to adjust to it before he started fucking my throte._

_I had decided to stay in the room and sleep a while after we'd finished for the morning._

_Later that day, I finally woke up and left my parents bedroom. Dad had left to go to work by then, so the only other ones that were here were Mom, Curly, and Angela. My mom was right in the living room, sitting on the couch with an angry face, cleaning Curly's face with a rag. I think it was because he got into a fight with some kid that day, but I never bothered to find out. I'm pretty sure that was it, though._

_When my mom noticed me, she forced a smile so I wouldn't see her angry face, she never liked it when I saw her angry, probubly because _we_ look alike, but not as much as Curly and Dad._

_"Hi there Timmy," She sais, "Where've you been? I haven't seen you all day!"_

_I just stayed quiet for a while, then I answered, "I was playing the game with dad earlier, and I fell asleep."_

_"Game? What game?"_

_I almost answered, but then I stopped myself. I remembered what my dad said about keeping it a secret. . . but then I thought, _"He's not here. Maybe mom can keep it a secret?"

_I then answered, "It's a. . . bedroom game?" I said in the form of a question, "I don't know what dad calls it, but we have to do it in the bedroom."_

_Her strained smile wavered, and she looked kinda worried. I remember wondering why._

_"W-What do you do in this game?" She asked sounding nervous._

_I didn't know or want to explain it, so I just showed her. I pushed Curly onto his stomach and got on top of him and started moving._

_My mom let out a huge gasp and shot up from the couch._

_"H-How long have you two been playing this game?" She almost shouted._

_"E-Ever since my seventh birthday?" I said in the form of a question again, confused as to why she was acting like that._

_"O-Oh my god. Oh my god! Oh, oh my god!" She kept repeating that phrase over and over again, voice raising each time._

_She told Curly to go to his room, and pulled me into her and dads bedroom. She sat me down on the bed and. . . she nealed down in front of me. . . held me in a tight embrace. . . a-and with tears flooding from her eyes. . . sh-she revealed the ugly truth to me. . ._

_At first, I didn't want to beleive it, I wanted to stay blinded, I wanted to beleive that what we did realy was a game, and that my dad wasn't taking advantage of me! But deep down, way underneith my denial, I knew this was true. . . _

**_My father realy doesn't love me. . . _**

**_. . . He doesn't love me. . ._**

_When my wall of denial had finally come crashing down, I__'d cried in my mother's arms, overwelmed with shame, fear, pain, anger, and heartbreak, for what had to be hours. __When dad finally came home from work that night, around eleven-thirty I believe, my mom let him have it, and she let him have it good. She yelled at him, saying words that would make a sailor jealous. She even threw her ring right in his face and attempted to call the fuzz. _

_But dad grabbed her by her wrist tightly, and said in a deep, threatening voice, "Now why the fuck would ya wanna do that?" _

_Mom tried to get out of his grasp, but he was holding on tight. She struggled some more, then, right in front of me, Dad punched her in her face. She flew to the floor, grunting loudly, blood pouring from her nose. I cowared in fear to the corner of the room, hugging my legs to my stomach. My dad then proceeded to beat my mom senseless, right in front of me._

_At one point, I just couldn't take it anymore. With a face soaked in tears, I screamed, "STOP!"_

_Dad stopped striking my mom and looked at me like I was out of my mind. Then I continued with, "I-If I let you play that game with me one more time, w-will you just stop? A-And maybe even leave?"_

_He stared at me menacingly for a while, then he smirked, "Alright," He said letting go of my mom, "But this time, I want you to scream as loud as you can."_

_He started unbuckeling his belt and said to my mom, "Hey, bitch, maybe you should go keep those other two little bastards company. Unless you wanna watch the show?"_

_My mom looked at him, then at me. I looked away, not wanting her to see my shame. She then ran out of the room._

_After the very last "game" session my father and I will ever have, I limped to Curly's room, where my mother had gone to watch them and to keep them from wondering why there was screaming. When I got there, Mom had Curly and Angela wrapped tight in her arms, whispering things like "Everything's gonna be alright" and "Don't worry about, don't worry about" to them._

_I went up to her and whispered into her ear, telling her that dad had packed his things and left. She smiled with tears coming from her eyes._

_"Curly," She sais to my brother, "Why don't you sleep with Tim tonight? Y-You two can keep each other company." Curly nodded._

_When mom left the room along with Angela, Curly asks me, "What's wrong Tim?"_

**_Father doesn't love me._**

_"You look like you been cryin'. Why were you cryin'?"_

**_I've always been crying._**

_"Why was there screaming?"_

**_I'm always in pain._**

_"Where's Dad?"_

**_Dad. . ._**

_"Tim?"_

**_Curly. . ._**

_"You okay, Timmy?"_

**_You look. . ._**

_"Answer me!"_

**_Just. . ._**

_"Timmy!"_

**_Like him!_**

_Without thinking another thought, my fist went right across his face. The force sent him to the floor._

_He looked a me, holding his bruised cheek, tears forming in his eyes, "Y-You, you hit me."_

_"Stop fuckin' crying!" _

**_I don't know why I was acting like that. . ._**

_Curly looked at me, not beleiving what just happened._

**_I just. . ._**

_"I thought you were a big fuckin' boy!" I continued._

**_Thought. . ._**

_"B-But, I am a big boy!"_

**_. . .He deserved it. . ._**

__"Well start acting like one n' shut the fuck up. Quit it with that fuckin' baby, whiny shit. Big boys don't cry, got it?"__

**_. . .He deserved it. . ._**

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><p>I finally came out of my dream-like haze. I was completely drenched with sweat, but that's normal. At least, for me it is.<p>

The light shining from the other side of the door told me that someone had come home. I forced my aching body up off my bed and slugged my way out the door. Not surprisingly, the very first person I see when I get downstairs is Curly. Curly immediatly glared at me when he noticed my presense.

"Anyone else home?" I ask. He shakes his head and grunts.

We stood just feet away from each other, staring for reasons unknown. We kept this strange staring contest up for I don't know how long.

Then finally, I put an end to this by slugging my way up to him, and wrapping my arms around him, pulling him into a tight embrace. I felt him stiffen, obviously shocked. He was standing straight up, and I was bent over. We looked kinda awkward, I admit, but it felt nice.

"I'm sorry." I mutter not caring if he cold hear me of not, "I-I'm so sorry."

Tears began sliding down my face.

**"But you just look so much like him."**

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><p>Continue?<p> 


	2. I Don't Deserve This, You Do!

you have asked, and now you shall recieve

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><p>I liked that Curly didn't say anything, the silence was. . . comforting.<p>

But it didn't stay like that for long.

"What the fuck are ya doin', Tim?" He growls.

I take a few more moments of silence before I answer, "I'm just so sorry."

". . ."

"I'm sorry I treat you so bad, it's just that. . . you look just like _him_."

This seemed to spark Curly's interest.

"I look just like who, exactly?" He asks carefully.

". . ." I didn't wanna say it. I knew I'd start with the waterworks if I did. So I just stayed silent.

"Tim, if yer not gonna do anythin', fuck off." I didn't move, I wanted his comfort.

He tried pushing me, but I held on tight.

"Alright Tim! Get the fuck off!" He struggled harder, but I was holding on tight.

I contemplated what we were doing, and you know what, this moment's kind of bitter-sweet, if you think about it. You know, Curly's enraged, and i'm practically at peace.

In a way, it's sort of like a representation of how I feel for Curly. I love him, and I want to take care of him to be sure he doesn't go through what I went through with our father. . . But at the same time, I hate him, I want him dead, I want him to suffer something way worse than what I went through. W-Why should I be the only one that had to go through that, huh? What did I ever do to deserve that? Look after my younger siblings? Never getting mad when my father forgot my name? Doing everything I was told, no questions asked? Scoring highest in all of my classes? NEVER COMPLAINING WHEN I GET SCREWED OVER? Oh yeah, I was a fucking saint when I was a kid, and all it took for that to change was my stupid obsession with wanting my damn scumbag of a father to love me.

You know what? Curly should have been the one to get man handled by dad. _He_ was the one that always stole from me and Angela. _He_ was the one that always took our parent's attention away from me. _HE_ always did the exact opposite of what he was told!_ HE_ was failing all of his classes! _HE_ ALWAYS BITCHED AND WHINED WHENEVER HE DIDN'T GET WHAT HE WANTED! And you know what else _he_ did when he didn't get spoiled? _HE_ DID THE STUPIDEST FUCKING SHIT!

Damn Curly! He is the most selfish, self-centered, spoiled brat!

. . . But, enough of that, i'm starting to rant.

Finally, Curly pushed me onto my back.

"If yer gonna be actin' this weird, ya' might as well check yerself into the loony house, ya fuckin' weirdo." He turned around to leave.

My heart sank as he headed toward the front door. I didn't want him to leave yet! I know I complained about him earlier, but I was at peace when we were hugging. . .

I scrambled to my knees and blurted out, "You remind my of dad." Oh, here it goes, the waterworks. I look like a fucking bawl baby right now.

Curly was just at the door when I said it. He'd turned around and looked at me, confused.

"I look like dad?" He asks, "That's it? That realy fuckin' all?"

I shook my head, struggling to hold back the sobs.

"No," I start, "No, that's not all. . . He. . ." I couldn't continue, I-I just couldn't!

Curly stomps over to me and pushes my shoulder, "Hey, quit it with that cryin' shit," He said flatly, "Answer my fuckin' question."

I take a deep shakey breath, and continue, "Remember how ever since my seventh birthday, me and dad would go into his room and. . . play a "game?"

He nods, "Yeah?" He sais unsurely.

"W-Well, we weren't ever actually playing a game. . . When we were in his room, dad was actually. . ." That's it, I seriously couldn't continue this time.

"Nevermind, Curly," I say, "It's just nothin', I'm just. . . bein' a bitch, I guess."

He stares at me for a while, then he snorts and leaves, slamming the door.

I slug myself back to my room, disappointed in myself for not being strong enough to just come out with it. Throwing myself onto my bed, I lay on my side, curl into fedal position and gentaly rub my the back of my right hand with my left hand. Closing my eyes, I bawl like a big baby. I didn't even bother to keep track of how long I cried, I just. . . cried.

By the time the tears started to slow down, the sun was starting to rise. . . I don't realy feel like getting up today.

I allowed myself to drift to sleep, not sure, yet at the same time, not caring if I ever woke up again.

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><p><em>I was five years old.<em>

_My mother was eight and a half months pregnant with my new sibling. I didn't know if it was a boy or a girl yet, but I was excited to find out._

_She was taken to the hospital while I was in school. Now, my dad promised that he'd pick me up and take me to the hospital with him if my mother went into labor while I was in school. . . But he didn't show up._

_My mother was in labor for three and a half days, _(yes, that is possible)_ and that's how long I was alone at home. I was a little disappointed that my dad forgot about me, and I was way more disapointed that he hadn't noticed my absense for an entire week (because they had to stay in the hospital for a few extra days), but I was overall greatful that I was getting a new Brother or sister._

_Finally, after the week had passed, they came back home with my new sister, Angela. I held my arms up for a hug when they walked through the front door that day. . . But they just passed me by without a single glance. . ._

_A year later, Curly came into the picture, then things realy started to change._

_I ended up alone in the house a lot more often. Curly and Angela always demanded attention whenever I was spending time with Mom or Dad. At first, I understood, because they were babies, and babies need a lot of attention. But as they got older, it only got worse. Mom had still payed a little bit of attention to me, but I was practically a stranger to Dad._

_I realy started to realize what was going on when one day, when I was five, I was playing around with my mother in the living room. Curly was in his play pen, watching us, almost glaring. Then, out of nowhere, he just stated screaming for mom. She'd told him he could play with dad, but when dad came to pick Curly up, he just wouldn't have it. He didn't stop crying until mom had started playing with him._

_So, I tried to play with dad, but when Curly saw, He started screaming for dad._

_Are you getting the picture now? I think you are._

_. . . I had to practically take care of myself ever since my siblings were born. . ._

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><p>I woke up panting, crying, sweating like a pig.<p>

That's how I know these flashhbacks are getting worse, I'm remembering things I forgot about a long time ago.

**Your memories are just trying to remind you of how useless and pathetic you are.**

My breath hitched.

O-Oh no, I'm hearin' voices. I shouldn't be hearin' voices! I-I shouldn't be! Oh man oh man, they're gonna throw me into the funny farm for sure. This can't be happening!

**But it is.**

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><p>Continue more?<p> 


	3. He Wasn't The First

Ever since that afternoon, the voices ain't stopped once. It's givin' me a fucking headach.

Now it's half a month later and, as usual, my flashbacks'r gettin' worse, 'n the voices'r just adding to my suffering.

I. . . haven't realy wanted to do much of anything lately. In fact, a few times this week, I literally just stayed in bed all day. The only people showin' concern'r the punks in my gang, but it's only because those fuckin' idiots'r completely lost without me tellin' 'em what to do.

I've been gettin' skinnier, because I won't eat. It's not that I refuse to, it's just that. . . well, every time I go to eat something, my stomach just feels full, and I end up gettin' a virus. Luckily for me, (I guess) I'm able to force down some stuff a few times a day. Although, I do throw up if II eat more than a little bit at a time.

Today, I thought it was gonna be one of those days where I just slept it all the way through, but Curly made sure it wasn't.

"Wake up!" He growled as I continued to try and ignor him, "I know you can hear me you dick!" He got on my bed and kicked me in the ribs.

I fell off, groaning in pain.

"What Curly?" I say in a more distressed tone than a threatening one.

"Get the fuck up, Tim, yer dumbass gang needs you."

I just waved it away, "They need ta figure things out fer themselves fer once."

He jumps off the bed and kicks me again.

"Here's some fucking news, Tim, if yer gonna be the leader of a gang, yer gonna have to actually LEAD it!" I flinched from the harshness in his voice, "Those fuckin' idiots'r breathing down my neck 24/7 saying "Where's Tim?" or "Where's yer brother, ya' little runt?" It's pissin' me off!"

"Not today, Curly. . . I'm too tired."

I heard him growl, and I practically felt him roll his eyes at me.

"I dun'no what's gotten into ya' lately, Tim, but you've been actin' like a little pussy! Right now, I'm yelling at you, and yer just takin' it like a bitch! Just look at yerself, yer pathetic."

That. . . That realy hurt. I gulpped and took moment to hold back my tears befor I replied, "I. . . I-I guess yer right, Curly. . . You can just lead my gang now, you'r obviously better." He stares at me, I can feel it. His glare was burning the back of my neck, I could hardly breath. . .

It almost felt like Curly had somehow transformed into. . . _him_, and that. . . h_e_ was staring at my body, wanting to break me all over again.

He then sneers and walks out of my room, saying, "Fine. You wanna be a lil bitch? That's fine with me! I'd do a better job runnin' that stupid gang of yers anyway." He slammed the door behind him.

. . . He sounded so much like _him_ when he spoke to me, I almost puked. . .

Damn, here comes the waterworks again.

As I laid there, crying on the floor beside my bed, I thought about what Curly said. Maybe I should actually try for once in a while. I don't realy wanna give up on life! I'm still young, I've got so much left to do, and so much time to do it!

**Do what? You'r a broke, pathetic, lowlife, hood. What could you possibly amount to?**

My enthusiasm was immediately shot down. Damn that voice, I dont like it, but it's always right. . .

But, I'll at least try to live.

**You shouldn't bother.**

"Fuck you." I absentmindedly say outloud.

I ignor the nagging voice in my head as I got dressed.

As soon as I take a step out of the house, I squint from the brightness of the sun. I bet it isn't even bright out, but I ain't been outside fer a while, so I guess I'm just bein' a mole.

Despite the irritating sting in my eyes, it's pretty nice out. Not too warm, not too cold. It's quiet, but not too quiet. . . Wow, what've I been missin'?

I make my way to the corner store hopin' they still got my favorite brand of smokes. Thankfully, I'm in luck, and it's on sale! . . . Woah, I sounded a lot like a broad right there. Just. . . forget I ever said that, okay?

I took two packs off the shelf, and that's when I realized, I forgot my wallet. All well, maybe I can get back to the good ol' days of shopliftin'. I make myself look casual and slide the smokes into my inner coat pocket. The cashier was already eyin' me suspiciously, I just pretend like I don't notice.

Out of the corner of my eye, I notice that the cashier's look of suspicion turned into one of concern.

"Are you okay, young man?" That realy suprises me. I look over at him, not bother to hide my shock.

"Huh?" I say dumbly.

"You'r shaking young man. And I don't mean to be rude, but you look a little skinnier than you should."

At look at myself. He's right, I'm definately shaking, and thanks to wearing nothing but an old tank top under my open jacket, I can make out the outline of some of my ribs.

My God!

I gasp and put my hand to my face. I nearly went numb when I fell that my cheeks were sunk about half a centimeter in.

Glory!

"Look young man, if you'r having money troubles, y-you can have anything you wnat here for free! It's my pleasure!"

That only shocks me more.

"Uh," I say, "W-Why would ya wanna-"

"I won't take no for an answer young man, you'r in need of help, and that's what I'm giving you. Anytime you come by this store, just take anything you want."

"A-Are you sure yer boss is fine with that?" Why am I talking like the little Curtis?

"Please young man, I own this store. Now, no more arguing. Take what you want." He gives me a sincere smile and sets a bag on the counter.

I hesitate at first, then I take the bag and startfilling it with a bunch of snacks. As I rush out of the store, I hear him say, "Have a good day now. Come back anytime!"

My breathing is ragged. For some reason, I just don't trust that guy. I bet he just set me up so he could call the cops on me.

But then, my thinking changes up a bit. Maybe he realy was concerned for me? . . .

I think this guy's gonna end up bein' my first real friend!

* * *

><p><em>I was just five years old.<em>

_Everyday after school, I'd go to this candy shop that's closed down now._

_The shop owner let me have anything I wanted for free! He said it was because I was his favorite customer. He even took a few pictures of me and put it up on the wall behind the counter and in his office in the back._

_One day, he asks, "Would you like too see how I make that homemade chocolate brick you love so much."_

_My eyes twinkled with exitement. "Yes! Yes! Chocolate!" I said jumpping up and down._

_"Than come with me to my house, I'l' even have you for dinner."_

_I stopped jumpping and furrowed my eyebrows, humming, wondering if that was a good idea._

_"I'm making spighetti!" He said enticingly._

_To which I replied, "Okay!"_

_Later that evening, after we had dinner, I asked, "When are we gonna make the chocolate?"_

_The candy shop owner laughs, "Soon. . . But, we should play a game first."_

_I tilt my head to the side, curious, "What game?" _

_"Come here."_

_He gets up from the table and motions me to follow him. He led us upstairs to his bedroom where he locked the door behind him and took out his camera._

_"Take your clothes off." He said hungrily._

_"W-Wha?" Is all I manage to say before a hand goes across my face._

_"Do what I say!" He yells in my face._

_I cowar in fear to the foot of his bed and start working off my shirt cautiously._

_"Yeah," He moans as I start for my leans, "I like that."_

_After I slid my jeans off, I hug my knees to my chest._

_"All of it!" He growls and smacks me hard across my face again._

_I start tearing up as I push down my underwear._

_"Yeah, That's it." He moans, sliding his hands down his pants. He grabs his camera with his other hand and whispers menacingly, "Pose for me."_

_I cried through all of this. The tears didn't stop as he had me do a bunch of messed up poses on his bed._

_After he took I don't know how many pictures, he pinned me, face first, on his bed. He trailed wet, sloppy kisses along my spine, making me shudder._

_I laid there, still, as he did to me what my father was going to do two years from then._

* * *

><p>I was running when I finally came out of that memory. I didn't care to stop myself though, so I just kept it up.<p>

I'd ran for five minutes until I grew tied and sat down at the end of an alley.

So, I thought, Dad wasn't the first one to do that to me.

**Oh, so you remember what happened with the candyshop owner now?**

That voice again. . .

"Shut up." I whisper.

**You know what else you remembered, but were too busy running to register?**

"Shut-up!" I say more demandingly.

**Nobody in your family noticed you weren't there that night.**

I was about to yell something when I hear a voice say, _"Hey!"_

I look over at the dead end of the alleyway and see a tramp.

_"You wanna buy somethin' that'll make ya' feel good?"_


	4. You Again

I cautiously walked over to the guy. As I got closer, I noted that he smelled like cheap beer and. . . I don't realy know, but it sort of smelled like burning leafs.

He opened up the grey overcoat he was wearing, and I gasped. . . I-Is this guy realy tryin'na sell me weed?

"I-I. . . I-"

"C'mon kid, I don' have all day!"

I looked around having no idea what to do. . . Did he say it would make me feel good?

"Hey," I start, "You said it would make me feel good. . . Uh. . . W-What else could it do?"

"Well," He said with a chuckle, "This stuff'll get ya' fucked up. You go to a party, this stuff'll get ya' laid. You get in a arguement wit yer girl? This'll make ya' ferget-"

That's all I needed to hear.

"How much?" I ask before he could continue.

"Well, yer a preppy little spit-fuck aren't ya? It's fifteen bucks fer each pound."

I bite my bottum lip, "Okay, so I don't have any money right now, but how 'bout I give you my bag'a snacks?"

He glares at me, but I keep a straight face. "Alright," He growls, "But next time, ya' betta pay me double! Yer just lucky I'm feelin generous t'day."

With shakey hands, I take the bag he offered in his hand.

"So," I start, "How do I use this, exactly?"

He rolls his eye, "Jeez runt, are ya' realy this fuckin' stupid? Take the pot, put it in paper, roll the paper up tight, smoke it. Or ya' can just eat it. Now get outta here 'fore the fuzz drives by!"

Stuffing the bag into one of my inner coat pockets, I suspiciously walk out of the alley.

Finally arriving home, I rush directly into my room and slammed the door closed. My breathing was fast and heavy, I honestly don't know why I was so paranoid though, it wasn't like I was being followed. . . Right?

Shaking that thought from my head, I hastily pull out a peice of paper from my desk drawer and start working on wrapping up a joint. I fumbled my lighter out of my pocket and hurridly lit it. I took my first puff a little too hard and started coughing. I hit my chest trying to clear my throte. Taking a deep breath, I try for another puff. I'm starting to feel the effects starting to sink in. One more puff, and I'm out of it.

* * *

><p>When I finally came through, it was dark out. I must've passed out. I hear heavy feet pounding around downstairs, but because of my headach, it sounded like a bunch of boulders crashin down.<p>

I sigh and try to pull myself up off the floor. The first few time, I fell before I could even get halfway up, but I eventually was able to get up.

As I got closer to my door, I could hear more footsteps stomp around. Everybody must be home now, I thought.

I dragged myself downstair, aching all over. I should find a better place to pass out at next time, I thought. I nearly slipped down the stairs, shit, I'm still fuckin dizzy.

When I finally get down the stairs, the first person I see is my mother. Then it's Curly, then Angela. . . and I guess we have a guest. Curly was smiling as he talked to the guy whose back was facing me. The guy had short curly, ginger-ish or blonde-ish hair, I couldn't tell which, and he was built sort of like my brother, but taller.

Who is this guy? It was then that Curly's eyes drifted over to me. His smile wavered a bit, but he managed to keep it unnoticed by everybody else. He rolled eyes, then hed his hand out in my direction.

"Well," He said with a hint of annoyance in his voice, "Here he is! Mr. Timothy Shephard."

Everyone turned to look at me, except for that guy. I noticed that Mom gave a me distressed look, but I wasn't sure why. Finally, that guy standing by Curly slowly turned around.

My blood ran cold.

My breathing stopped.

Everything around us froze.

The only things left behind was black space, myself. . . and. . . _HIM!_

"Hello. . . Son." He smirked sadisticly.

I couldn't respond, I was in complete shock. I stood straight up, ignoring the hit of dizziness I received. I stared at him, and he stared at me.

I took a step back, getting ready to make a break for my room. I was just about to turn around and bolt when Dad grabbed me by my arm and pulled me into the living with everbody else. He sat me down on the couch beside him and wrapped his arm around to be sure I wasn't going anywhere. He smiled with fake warmness and pulled my head onto his chest. I noticed that Curly was glaring at me out of the corner of his eye.

"So Tim," Dad starts, "What have you been doing since I was gone?"

I gulp, "N-Nothing much."

"Oh realy? 'Cause I heard yer the leader of your very own gang, I'm so proud." He turns to Curly, "Hey Curl, why don't _you_ have yer own gang?" Curly crossed his arms and mumbles something.

Oh, I see what he's trying to do: He's tryin to turn Curly against me. Well too late buddy, that happened on its own.

The night went on sort of like that. Dad would make comments that would suggests he prefers me over Curly, Curly'd get angry, and, when everyone else wasn't looking, dad would glide his hand up and down my thigh.

At one point in the night, I excused myself so that I could go up to my room.

When I reached the top of the staircase, instead of going directly to my room, I bolted to the bathroom and emptied my stomach into the toilet. I'm just glad I was actually able to make to the bathroom.

When I got to my room, I immediately passed out on my bed.

* * *

><p>Hours later, it had to be like, two in the morning when I'm woken up by the sound of my door being creaked open, then close. Whoever had came in didn't make any noise, I'm not even sure if they'd moved, so I just pretended I was still asleep. Soon, though, I felt the weight shift on my bed. Then whovere that was climbed on top of me. . . Oh no, I now who it is now. He was already stiff. . .<p>

He grinded up against my backside, slow and hard. I didn't dare move or say anything. I had to cover my mouth to keep from yelping out loud when I felt his hand travel between my legs. Hold back a moan, I tried to resist the urge to buck up against him when he started rubbing me vicously. He growled sadistically when he saw that I was fighting the pleasure he was giving me.

I couldn't hold it anymore and let out a loud moan when he grabs me from inside my boxers. I bite down on my pillow as he moved his hand up and down my member.

"P-Please, stop!" I say into the pillow.

"Don't fuckin' wine." He growls, moving faster.

I start panting and sweating. This isn't good. This isn't good. I can't just let him do this to me, not when I'm fucking eighteen years old! . . . But I still didn't try to move. . . He still scares me too much.

"Ple-e-ease! Sto-Stop! P-Please!" This time, he ignors me.

I began shaking in both fear and extacy, tightening my arms around my pillow.

With one more loud moan, I arched my back as I shamefully came.

I continued to burry my face into my pillow as my dad laugh sadistically.

"Well," He said, "That didn't last long. I'm guessin' you didn' have yer first time yet, have ya'?"

I didn't wanna answer him. Of course, it wasn't first time in bed, but it was the first time I actually came.

"Answer me dammit!" The bitterness in his voice makes me flinch, so I just nod in response. He chuckled, "Heh, just what I thought. Yer so damn scarred of what we did the yer scared ta fuck someone. What a lil bitch."

When he finally left the room, closing the door behind him, I finally let my tears fall from my eyes.

**What now, did your Daddy hurt you again.**

"Shut up."

**Oh, wait, that actually felt good for you, didn't it?**

"Leave me alone."

**You know what that little experience with your father when you were a kid turned you into?**

"I-I have no Idea what you'r talking about."

**Yes, you do. You know what you are. You know the names society places on men that like the feel of other men. Men like you.**

"J-Just. . . Stop!"

**Fag. Queer. Homo. Flitty.**

"Don't call me names."

**You know that's what you are, and everyone will hate you when they find out.**

"Shut up! He made me do it! You don't know anything!"

I didn't realize I'd been yelling until Curly came in and punched the back of my head.

"Shut the fuck up!" He yells, "Not all of us r' pansies like you so we don't need to be kept up by yer girly screaming!"

It was at that moment that dad walked in.

"Now Curls," He started, "Yer brother's obviously got some problems and you have to learn to respect them, or he'll never get over them." He seemed to have stressed that last part out..

Curly scoffed and glared at me. "Fine."He grumbles, and walkes out.

Dad continued to stand in the doorway, staring at me. ". . . Remember," Starts with a smile, "Twice a day, that's the rules of the game!" He shuts my door and leaves.

I laid there, frozen.

Oh, he wants to play with you again. But seeing as to how you'r a big fat flitty now, it won't be so bad for you.

I didn't bother responding to the voice. . . I'm too frightened.


	5. I'm GLaD I Survived That

I can't believe my Mom actually let that fucking bastard stay here. She knows what happened! What the hell is she thinking? Is she trying to make me go through hell again?

I groan as I feel the sun's beams of light burn through my eyelids.

Another day.

Another day.

Another day to try to get my life back together.

Another day to fix things with Curly.

Another day to get Angela to even talk to me.

Another day to try to ignor that voice.

**Don't count on it.**

Another day to go through. . . but with _him_.

It's okay. . . It's okay. . .

I just have to hurry up and get dressed, and be away from the house the entire day.

I throw my covers off and roll out of the bed. With quivering legs, I stagger toward the bathroom. As I passed by everyone's room, I can see Curly is gone, Angela is gone, Mom is gone. . . but _he_ is still sleeping.

It's okay, it's fine.

Just be quiet.

I slowly closed the bathroom door and start the shower. I glance back at the door for a few moments before I stip myself.

The warm water was soothing, and it got me thinking, deeply.

_Maybe I should just tell Curly and Angela what happend and get it over with?_ I thought._ If they understand what happened, they could see why I was around Dad so much when we were little and they won't hate me anymore!_

_. . . But what if they don't believe me? Curly's big on denial. Yet, why would I lie about that? Maybe they'd be reasonable. . ._

"You should realy learn to lock the door when you take a shower."

I froze.

"And maybe you shouldn't doze off either."

His arms were already around me, making their way lower and lower.

I grab his hands, stuggling to keep then at bay.

"Don't try ta resist it, I'll only make it harder for you if you do."

I didn't say anything. I just continued to keep his hands away from_ there._

**I don't know why you'r trying, you obviously love it when he touches you.**

"Shut the fuck up." I absentmindedly growl out.

"What the fuck did ya just say ta me you brat?"

I gasp when I realize what I just did.

"You don't fuckin' talk ta me like that Tim! You got any fuckin' idea what I can do to ya?" Without giving me a chance to answer, he knocks me in the back of my head, making me go down.

I tried to get up and escape, but he flipped me onto my back and pinned me easily. I felt a hand wrap tightly around my throte at that moment. I stuggled to breath, but his hand only got tighter and tighter.

"P-please, st-stop!" I manage to choke out.

"I'll let go when i'm done, brat." He sais with a smirk.

He doesn't hesitate to shove his thing in me. I let out a strained shreik as pounds into me, harder and faster.

_I can't breath._

His other hand trails down my chest, eventually reaching my member. I shamefully let out a strained moan.

**See? You love it.**

I didn't feel like arguing with that bullheaded voice at the time.

_I can't breath!_

I try to scream to hopefully get someone's attention, but even in my desprate state, I knew that wasn't gonna happen. I try kicking around, hoping to knock him off, but the best I could do was piss him off. He stopped stroking my manhood just to punch my face, then went back to what he was doing.

_I CAN'T BREATH!_

The lack of oxygen finally got to me, and everything went black.

* * *

><p>I woke up in a clean white room that reminds mealot of. . . A-Am. . . Am I in the hospital?<p>

_"He's awake! Go tell the doctor!"_ I then heard slow footsteps leave the room.

It took me a while for my mind to register that there were other people in the room.

**Even after they spoke? Are you freaking stupid?**

"Leave me alone." I growl.

Angela, who was just about to hug, stepped back and pouted.

"Fine!" She huffs, "Be that way."

I could hear her gumble something like "You try to make people feel better and they snap at you, hmph!" as she stompped out of the room.

My mother put her hand on my shoulder. (I didn't even know she was there.)

"Don't feel bad, honey, she's just worried about you."

I tried to lift my hand to push hers away, but it stopped. I glance down at my hand to see that it was cuffed to the bed. I glance at my mother, horrified.

". . . I-I can explain that. U-Um, whe-"

"Ah! I see you'r looking fine!" The doctor came in with. . . _him_ and Curly following behind.

I try to say something, but all that came out was a long, concerned groan.

**You fucking idoit.**

I fought the urge to yell back at the voice.

Finally finding my voice, I ask, "W-Why am I here?"

**Are you fucking kidding me?**

I mentally slap myself. How could I forget?_ That_ was the very last thing that happened before I blacked out. . . But if that's the case, why am I handcuffed to the bed and why's my Dad not being man-handled by the fuzz?

"Why am I handcuffed to the bed?" I ask.

The doctor fixed his glasses and cleared his throte. . . Was it. . . Was it realy that bad?

"Well, the handcuffs are manditory if a patient has been brought in after trying to kill themself."

I couldn't respond.

". . . Your father here found you hanging yourself in your backyard and brought you here."

. . .

I stole a glance at my father. He was giving me a victorious smirk, but nobody was looking at him except for me.

I ball my hands into a fist and look down, "Oh." Is all I can say.

The doctor went on about my condition. Then some time later, a cop came in to lecture me on how I could become a danger to everyone around me and stuff if I did this again. I didn't listen to him either, I didn't even care. I was just staring at my brother from the corner of my eyes as they each talked to me. He was trying to talk to dad, but _he_ kept telling Curly to hush and that he should be more worried about me.

Yeah, Curly's gonna be pissed off at me.

**Dur, ya' think so?**

"Don't talk to me anymore, dammit." I whisper.

Obviously, the doctor heard me because he stopped. He cleared hie throte after a second then continued.

"A-Anyway, you'll be able to leave tomorrow morning." I nodded in response, "In the mean time, the rest of you should leave, visiting hours are ending."

Everyone got up to leave without hesitation. . . But then,

"I'd like to talk to my son alone real quickly, if that's alright with you." _He_ asked.

The doctor nodded with a 'yessir' and left the room along with everybody else, closing the door behind himself.

He stood there staring at me, face bent into one of annoyance. I don't know why_ he_ was annoyed, _he_ wasn't the one that almost got choked to death by _his_ own flesh and blood dad. The mixture of silence and stillness in the air made me feel both uncomfortable and scared. My heart rate was picking up, my breathing became uneven, my eyes couldn't stop blinking, I was a trembling mess.

The silence was broken when the sound of skin slapping against skin echoed throughout the room. I rubbed be stinging red cheek, a tear threatening to spill from my eye.

"Yer a real inconvenience, ya' know that?" He growled, "Honestly, you realy can't hold yer breath fer five minutes?" I wanted to say something smart, but I didn't.

He stikes me across the face again with the back of his hand, this time drawing blood from his nails.

"You know how much hospital bills can cost? Do ya'?" I make a noise like a squeel or a wimper, ". . . Apologize to me. Apologize to me fer havin' ta' pay this damn bill."

I only wimper again.

He grabs the collar of my hospital gown and shakes me, "Apologize right now!"

"Okay! Okay! I-I'm sorry!"

He pushed me back, making my head connect hard with the headboard. He left the room glaring at me.

I laid down onto my side, sobbing loudly.

A few moments later the doctor came in, and I quickly wiped my tears away and steadied my breathing.

He stared at me for a while, then asked, ". . . Your father. . . He hit you, didn't he?" I nod absentmindedly, "Would you like for to go get that police officer?"

I a_lmost_ nod, but the voice. . .

**No, he hit me because he was concerned for me. He's just upset that I'd do something like this.**

"No, he hit me because he was concerned for me. He's just upset that I'd do something like this."

"Are you sure young man?"

**I am completely sure. He did that out of love. He's never done it before.**

"I am completely sure. He did that out of love. He's never done it before."

"Well, alright. I'll be back later to check up on you." He leaves.

"What the hell was that?" I almost yelled.

**I spoke for you Tim. I stopped you from doing something drastic.**

"What the hell do you mean drastic? I was finally thinking clearly! That bastard was finally ganna get thrown behind bars like he should have a long time ago! Then maybe _HE'D_ become someone's bitch!"

**You wouldn't understand right now Tim. There're somethings you need to know before your father is realy gone for good.**

"Fuck you."

I was shaking with rage. That damn voice ruins everything. I swear, if it was real, I'd beat the living shit out of it.

**I can hear what you'r thinking.**

"You were ment to."

I took a moment to think. . .

"Who'r you supposed to be anyway? Making desicions for me."

**You can call me GLaDOS.**

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

_(Author sais; Forgive me. . .)_


	6. Bad At Relationships

For the next few days, the only visiter I got was that Cade kid. I don't know why he would wanna visit me. . . then again, his old man don't treat him right neither. I guess maybe he just visited because we have that connection.

He's a good kid. I like him.

You see, he was in here for the first two days I got in this place for physical theropy or something like that. I'm sure you know about the Soc and the stabbing and the fire and stuff, so I don't have to tell you the same story. Yeah, so, he was just walkin' 'round the hospital trying to get his legs used to walkin' and happend to come across my room. He asked me why I was in here. I told him what GLaDOS told me to say. **'I got caught by my ol' man tryin'na kill myself.'** But even though _she _was contolling what I said, I was able to make my voice shakey and hesitant. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't crying for help, I was tryin'na take control of my speaking back. So with the shakeiness of my voice, and the mentioning of my dad, he just sorta put the peices together himself.

His visits actually made us into good friends.

What's bothering me though is that GLaDOS has been keeping quiet ever since she told me her name. . . I thinks she's scheming something feirce.

Today Johnny came in late.

He looked flustered and he seemed to get more and more nervous he got closer to me.

"Hi again Tim." He said panting.

"Hey Johnny." I smile at him softly.

"Y-Yeah. . . Yeah." He said catching his breath. "I-I uh, I got ya' something." He brought what he was holding behind his back around so I could see it.

Glory!

It was a cat. Silky black fur, pointed ears, long flowing tail, glowing green eyes. . .

"Why would ya' give this to me" I say letting the little creature pounce and settle onto my lap.

"Well," He starts nervously, "I just thought you'd be lonely up here while i'm gone. . . But, uh, I didn't buy it."

I laugh, "It figures, ya' theivin' greaser."

He smiled as he watched me play around with the little creature. "Ya' know," He starts, "The hospital won't let ya' keep it here, but I'll take care of it 'til yer out."

I nodded, a little bit dissapointed.

"How much longer ya' got in here anyway?"

"Just three, maybe four days."

He sighed dramatically.

I thought as I petted the cat in my lap. . . Johnny realy _is_ the first and only person that actually cared for_ this_ much. Don't get me wrong, my mom takes care of me, but she has to tollerate me. Like, she makes sure I'm taken care of because it's her duty as a mother, but she does not _want_ to do it. Anyway, Johnny's just so caring and nice, he puts other people before himself and he just. . . I don't even know anymore. I just feel like I could maybe. . . kiss him even. . .

I think I like Johnny. . . Like. . . _Like_ Johnny.

Don't take it the wrong way, I'm not gay, I _don't_ like guys. . . and I don't like girls either! I just. Like. Johnny. That's it. No specific gender, just that little good lookin' tan skinned fella whose face is just inches from mine. . .

. . . Wait, WHAT?

I flinch wildly making my new cat jump off of my lap in suprise. Johnny quickly moved back and covered his face in embaressment. "Sorry," He said looking anywhere, but at me, "I was just daydreamin'."

". . . Johnny, come here." He stares at me for a second, then he leans in cautiously. He probubly thought I was gonna hit him or somehting. When he got close enough, I made my move.

My lips crashed onto his and I didn't hesitate to force my tongue into his mouth. My arms were wrapped tightly around his neck, fingers intertwining with the hair hanging down his neck. When I finally pulled back, our lips disconnecting made a loud, high pitched sound. I gave him a small smile. . . but he just stared at me wide eyed. . .

. . . Oh no. . .

. . . Don't tell me. . .

My smile wavered and I looked away. "U-Uh," I croaked out, feeling a blush coming on, "Thats what you wanted. . . right?"

He stared at me for a few moments, still wide-eyed, then came to his senses and answered, "N-No Tim, I realy _was_ daydreamin'! I wasn' hintin' at nothin'!" The was a touch of anger in his words, which made me tense up.

We sat in silence for a little while, until, "I'll see ya' later Tim, I gotta go." He picked up the little cat and started towards the door. Just before he walked out, he turned around and said with anger still hinting in his voice, "'Fore I ferget, Tim, there's gonna be a big rumble between us Greasers and the Socs next Friday. Darry wanted ta know if you and yer gang wanted in on it."

I just nod.

"Great." He mumbles sarcastically. "Oh and, Tim, I won't tell anybody 'bout this. . . But, if ya' ever pull somethin' like that again, I'll tell Dally." He said curtly, then dissapeared down the hallway.

_Did he just threaten me?_ I thought. I thought I'd never, ever see the day where Johnny Cade - the gang's pet, the lost puppy, the boy afraid of his own shadow - would threaten annybody. I didn't know it was even possible for him to get mad at anybody.

I felt fresh hot tears spill from my eyes. My whole body was raking with heavy sobs.

_. . . Why? . . . Why? Why do I always have to screw things up for myself? Why do I always do the wrong things? Trust the wrong people? Let people walk all over me? Why? Why am I so weak? Johnny's even stronger than me! He puts up with his dad beatin' him every day while I'm having a break down with my day being back for only a week and a half! So why? Why do I have to go through all of this torment? All of these mixed feelings? This huge load of stress? Just sit back and take all of this fucking hatred everyone around me throws my way? Was I not good enough? Did I do something wrong in my past life or something? Was my entire exsistence just a huge mistake, and now i'm paying the price for it?_

***Cough* *Cough***

"W-What do you want?" I say in between sobs.

**Oh, I just wanted to let you know how pathetic you look now.**

"Th-Thanks."

**You do know you realy are a complete mistake, right?**

I let out a huge sob, "Y-Yes!"

**Nobody's going to miss you when you die.**

"I know!"

**So why wait? Do you see those scissers sitting on that desk?**

"Yes?"

**Cut yourself with them now, and cut deep.**

"Yes."

At the time, I didn't even realize what I was doing. But I was so overwhelmed with self-pity, self-hate, and, well, pretty much anything negative that was directed towards myself that I was vulnerable to her commands.

I grabbed the scissers off of the table quickly and fumble around with it in my hands. When I finally held it firmly in my hands, I held it shakely above my left wrist. Without another thought, I dug the sharp end deep into my wrist and swiftly cut across.

**That's too deep, you idiot.**

_"Aaaahh!"_ Appearently, a nurse had just walked in when I cut myself. She ran out of the room to go tell the docter.

**Shit.**

I was bleeding out pretty bad. A huge deformed circle of red had already covered pretty much all of my bed sheets. I was feeling pretty sleepy.

_So._ I thought. _This is how it's gonna end? . . . All well._

**It's not over yet, Tim. You still have to realize a few more truths.**

"What? More truths?" I yawned and lied down, ready to die, "What else could there be for me to find out? Like you said, 'I"m a poor, broke, pathetic, lowlife, hood.' I have nothing and nobody. No one will miss me when I die. The end."

**You'r not going to die yet Tim, I'll tell you when you die.**

"Yeah. . . Sure." I was struggling to stay conscious at this point, "Whatever you say GLaDOS."

Blackout.

You'r probubly thinking there's no way I could've lived. But. . . well that's kind of stupid 'cause I wouldn't be writing this if I did.


	7. Why

_**I'M SO**_** SORRY!** That you thought this was a new chapter.

**I wanted to tell you why I havent been updating!**

_I've actually thought of A FEW ways to go with this story and I just don't know where to go with it._

**1)** Tim doesn't show to the rumble and everyone - including Angela - labels him as a coward. _**(Ultimately leading to a sequal)**_

**2)** Tim secretly becomes a drug addict, then his Dad later reveals it to everyone. _**(Ultimately ending there)**_

**3)** Tim's Dad exposes a huge secret between him and Tim's mom to the whole family. _**(Ultimately ending there)**_

**4)** Tim confeses to Curly and Angela about his behevior. _**(Ultimately leading to a sequal)**_

**5)** Tim runs away._** (Ultimately leading to a sequal)**_

Please tell me in your reviews.

_**OR**_

If you have another idea, please PM me.


	8. The Start Of Something Bad

**I JUS WANTED TO LET YOU GUYS KNOW! Sorry for not updating for two months -_-' Just for that, I'll give you all ten free doughnuts!  
>(O) (O) (O) (O) (O) (O) (O) (O) (O) (O)<br>SO FAR the choices 4 and 5 have been picked most, so I'm going to start going that way.  
>However, I f you want it to go in a different direction, feel free to continue voting. I will be going a certain way each time I count up the votes depending on what they look like.<br>IF YOU WANT to, you can vote each chapter to be sure you get your way.  
>REMEMBER the choices are on chapter 7<br>In the mean time, i'll be trying my best to get these chapters up as fast as possible.  
>P.S. If you have an idea that's not listed, feel free to PM me want you think and I shall add it to the list.<strong>

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><p>When I woke, I had no idea how much more time had passed. The nurse that had caught me was standing at the door, glaring. . . I guess I was a big inconveiniance for her.<p>

"You leaving today," She spat, "In a few hours. We just need to wait for that donated blood to finish being pumpped inside you."

I just stared back at her blankly, not saying anything. She rolled her eyes at me and left.

The long hours of quiet-and-alone time I recieved after that gave me a nice relaxing atmosphere to think about things. . . Mainly about my strange shift of emotions that I've been having.

I thought it was unnerving, how I could be acting one way for a time and change dramatically in just mere minutes. Just like the day I was put into this hospital; while I was alone with my dad, I was submissive, but when I was with the doctor, I was hateful. And how about this moring when Johnny stormed out? At first, I was broken hearted, but then I was just pissed. I had no idea what was going on with me. Maybe it was GLaDOS messing with my mind? I still don't know.

When the time for me to leave came quickly, they practically threw me outta there. Instead of leaving right away, I sat down on the curb of the drop area. What was today? Thursday? Tomorrow's the rumble then. I guess I better get my gang together. . . Oh wait, I made Curly the leader didn't I?. . . Well, He probubly didn't even try ta take charge, so I guess i'm still leader. 'Sides, they don't like Curly, so they wouldn't listen to him anyway.

I was broken from my thoughts when I head a car horn going off. I look up and see that my father was the one honking his horn. He took his hand off when he noticed me looking at him.

"Get in, boy," He sais in an overly-friendly matter, "I got some catchin' up to do with you." I just continued sittinge there, staring at him with tired eyes. Then he continues with, "Do I have ta get outta this car?"

I sighed and hauled myself into the passanger seat.

We drove in silence. I knew he wasn't taking me home, but I was too scared to care. I knew what we were gonna do wen we got to wherever we were going, but once again, I was too scared to care. I didn't know what he was gonna do to me after we did_ that_, but. . . I preferred not to bump heads with him.

After ten minutes of driving, we pull up to some small, run down looking apartment. . . Okay, maybe I didn't know where we were going. But. . . by the looks of it, i'd say we had just showed up at a crack house. That thought made my heart race.

_I don't wanna be here. I-I can't be here! I need to get outta here! Okay, I know I smoked weed earlier, but that's all in the past, okay! No more, I promise!_

I was about to turn around and make a run for it, but then he grabbed me roughly by my forearm and pressed my back onto his chest. I was shaking wildly. I was realy tiny compared to my Dad, so if you had seen us, you'd think he was holding onto a small child, especially since I'd barely been eating for two months.

He was breathing heavily on the back of my neck, making me feel like I was naked and he was about to do that again. "Too late ta run, boy," He whispers groughly into my ear, "I got some unfinished business with these assholes, meaning I owe them a lil money. Since I ain't got no money, I'm gonna need a lil _somethin'_ ta make up for it." He slowly licks me from the bottum of my neck to the inside of my ear, making me shiver. "They told me. . . they could always use a test subject fer their new _products_. . . Or. . ." One of his hands traveled down my body and found their way into my pants. "They could use someone with a lil. . _. experience_."

He let out a low meniaal laugh.

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><p>BTW I don't have Beiber Fever. . . ('-')<p> 


	9. The Truth Comes Out

Sorry for the late update again! -_-'  
>I promise i'll try to get better at updating.<br>**IF I TAKE LONGER THAN A WEEK AND A HALF TO UDATE AGAIN, SOMEBODY PM AN ANGRY NOTE TO ME, PLEASE!  
>ALSO!<strong>I'm sure you guys are wondering why the hell I put GLaDOS in a story like this... well, it's because IJDGAF! HAHA! JK! I'm just weird like that. ;3

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><p>I wanted to struggle when he dragged me inside, I wanted to struggle when he started talking business with the guys he owed, I wanted to struggle when the guys accepted his offer, and I wanted to struggle when the head of those guys told his goons to take into the back room to "break in the merchandise."<p>

But I was too afraid. . . I'm always too afraid. . . I'm such a little wimp, I couldn't even blink when all of this shit happened.

I'm sure you have an idea as to what those bastards did to me, and yes, they did do that. . . but that's not all they did.

There were three of them "breaking me in."

They tied me up.

They took turns at me.

They beat me with a broken 2'4", just like Cade's old man did to him.

They cut me all over.

Then finally, they pumpped me with drugs.

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><p>By the time I woke up, it was dark out and it seemed like everyone was gone. I wisely took the time to break out of my bonds and escape out the window - the first good decision I've had in a while.<p>

I instantly remembered the rumble that's supposed to be going on and checked over myself to make sure I looked alright. I noticed that I was trembling uncontrollabley - probubly a side-effect from the drugs - yet my cuts and bruises were - thankfully - not showing. It was cold out, so I came up with the idea to blame my shaking on the weather.

It didn't take me long to get there. The Brumly Boys and my guys were already there, now we were just waiting for the Curtis gang. . . I'm not realy looking forward to meeting up with them for. . . _obvious_ reasons, but I can't back down now. I may be a little bitch, but this is a rumble and if i'm not a part of this, people might get suspicious. . . _"People might get suspicious?"_ How paranoid am I?

I said my dumb little excuse to my boys, scored a cancer stick from one of them annd waited for everyone else to show up on behind some tree.

A few minutes later, they showed up. I had to go over and greet them to make sure nobody suspected anything. Shook hands with the oldest Curtis, and "complimented" Ponyboy and Johnny on killing the Soc. . . somehow I'd managed to make it seem like I was "regular old Tim." But then, I noticed Dallas giveing me an odd look, as well as Johnny and Ponyboy. . . Oh no, Johnny didn't tell, did he? Why would he? He said he wouldn't tell anyone! I trusted him! Why can't anyone around me be trusted? Why? What's gonna happen to me now? Are they gonna jump me after the rumble is over? What's gonna happen? WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN? Oh God, just listen to me! I'm a paranoid little wuss! How did I survive this long?

The sound of mustang engines could be heard from afar, getting closer and closer. The Socs have arrived. Everyone lined up, Geasers on one side, Socs on the other. Darryl and some meatheaded guy walked up to each other. They circled each other for a while until finally, the meathead took the first swing. Darryl easily blocked it and got him in the face; the rumble has begun.

I was doing just aweful, I kept getting taken down onto my back, people were quadruple-teaming me, Curly had to keep stepping in to halp me. . . eventually, I just gave up and hid behind one of the Brumly Boys' cars. When I heard those words, "Ha! They're runnin'! Look at those lil' fuckers go!" I quickly got up and mixed myself in with everybody so that no-one would notice I was missing.

Unfortionately though, I still had the sneaking suspicion that Johnny ratted me out. . . I'm sure of it now.

**Hopefully they won't beat you too hard. Ha. Ha.**

Dammit! Her? At a time like this?

Dallas and Johnny both approached me with a murderous oura emmitting from them. They're gonna kill me, I know it. I hung my head low, still looking at them nervously. I didn't dare to blink or take my eyes off of them for a second. I could left by the time they got to me, but I was too afraid to think - like that's any different from any other time in my life. Whhat made me even more afraid was the fact that nobody else noticed a thing.

"Tim," Dallas spit out, "We need ta talk."

I swallowed hard and nodded, still staring at them with caution.

Dally roughly grabbed me by my arm and forced me to follow him into the trees with Johnny following close behind. He dragged me all the way to the vacant lot where John-. . . _Cade_ slept in from time to time.

He threw me down on the ground and immediately kicked me in the ribs. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" He yelled, "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? FOR CHRIST SAKES, HE'S A BOY! A BOY, TIM! YOU LITTLE FAG!"

I didn't say anything, I just lyed there completely vonerable as he beat me, cursed at me, insulted me, hurt me. . . But what hurt me the most about this situation. . . is that Cade, the Curtis Gang's "pet", had caused this and was watching with a stone face. . . Am I realy so much of a scumbag that someone as sweet and as nice as _him_ wouldn't care if I was in pain?

**Yes Tim. I try to tell you, but you always want to deny.**

"SHUT UP!" I shout, not caring who heard me at this point, "SHUT UP! I'M SICK OF THE WAY YOU TALK TO ME, GLaDOS! GET OUT OF MY HEAD ALREADY!"

Dallas and Johnny were staring at me wide eyed, I didn't care though. All I was worried about at that time was getting GLaDOS out of my head.

**Don't talk back to me like that, all I've been trying to do is help you.**

"Help me? You've been making my life worse, you bitch!"

"Th-The hell?" Dallas mutters, "Johnny, he's. . . he's crazy man. Y-YER CRAZY, TIM SHEPHARD! YOU HEAR ME? CRAZY!" As he grabbed Johnny and pulled him away from me, I could hear him mumbling something like, _"We gotta tell the guys."_

I didn't care about what he was saying at the time. . . If only GLaDOS hadn't distracted me like that. . . I could've at least tried to stop them.

Although I have to admit, that was a pretty good plan, getting me to show them I had a voice inside my head like that. . . It's so terrible that I'd be inpressed with someone trying to ruin me - or rather,_ me _trying to ruin me. I only became aware of her plan after those two, because as soon as they turned around, she stopped talking. . .

I sighed when I got up to head for home. I'm definately not looking forward to what's waiting for me there. . . Maybe I'll finish up that bag of weed I got from that tramp?

I stopped my thoughts when I found myself standing on my porch. I placed my hand on the doornob, stopped, sighed, than opened the door.

As soon as I had entered, Curly had me pushed up against the wall with one hand wrapped tightly around my throte. "What the fuck Tim?" He yelled in my face, "I saw you hide behind that car you little bitch! Who the hell do you think you are? You have any idea how emberressing it is to have a pussy for a older brother?"

He roughly threw me on the floor and kicked me repeatedly. "And what about this I hear from Dallas that ya kissed that Cade boy? Is it true?" I just layed there curled up in a ball, not giving any sign of response. "You did, didn't you? I can't believe this, you-you-you little queer! I hate y-"

"DO YOU STILL WANT ME TO TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED?" He paused and stared at me in a slight shock from being interrupted, then his face hardened back up.

"What the hell are you talking about?" He spat.

"A while ago, I started to tell you why I treat a certain way, and then I just left you hangin'. . . Do you still want to know what happened?"

He stared at me, seemingly curious. Then he forced his face to be uncaring. "Yeah, whatever." He sighs kneeling down to my level. ". . .What happened?"

I gulpped when the full weight of the situation hit me. Okay. . . I'm really going to do this. . . I'm going to tell my little brother the truth, and hopefully I can be _somewhat_ at peace. . . And if I am, then I will tell Angela, and the both of them can finally see how Dad really is. Here it goes.

"When me and Dad where in his room playing a "game those times, we weren't actually playing a game. . . When we were in his room, he was. . ." I take a deep breath, summoning up the courage to finsh my sentance. I could already feel the pressure building up behind my eyes.

"Hurry up, Tim." Curly said. But I just continued sitting there, silent. . . Not again, I'm wussing out again. Maybe I'm not ment to tell him? Yeah, I should just stop right here. . . But if I stop now, will I ever have a chance like this again? Will I ever be able to tell anyone about it? No, no I can't tell anyone about it, he'll kill me! I can't tell anyone! No-one must know! I can't! I FUCKING CAN'T!

"Tell me Tim!"

That's it, Im through with this. "HE WAS RAPING ME!"

Curly gasped loud and fell onto his butt.

_Yes. . . Yes. . . I finally did it! I finally confessed! Now we can be real brothers from now on! Now he can finally see that bastard for who he realy is! We can finally get rid of him!_

With all of those happy thopughts running through my mind, I almost missed Curly when he whispered, ". . . Liar. . ."


	10. Get Out

_Liar. . . Liar. . . Liar. . . _

"H-How could you think. . . I-I'm lyng to you?" I choke out, "Why would I be lying about this?"

"'Cause. . . 'Cause. . . 'Cause you'r always so desperate fer attention, Tim! You always have be the one people think about! Have to be the one everybody's scared of! But now you have to be the one everybody's sorry for? I mean, I've heard you lie to get what you wanted before, but rape? Really? You'd lie about that? About yer own dad too? Face it, Tim, yer just an attention whore!" With that said, he spit on my face, and started walking away.

. . . Me, an attention whore. . . ? _Me,_ an attention whore. . . ? You know what? screw it! I'm done trying to win his brotherly love. He's gone way too far this time.

"You got some nerve!" I yell, wiping his spit off my face. "You have no right to call anyone an attention whore! Do you have idea what I went through when you and Angela were born? I barely had any attention at all! I basically had to fend for myself, Curly! Do you have any idea what it's like to have raised yourself since you were five? No, you don't because you and Angela were too busy being spoiled rotten! The only thing i'm desperate for is love, and I can't even get _that_, can I? I didn't even _want_ to be a gang leader, but those idiots _made_ me their gang leader because of the fight I had with that tramp!"

The tears start to flow, and I pause for a moment.

". . . Being touched sexually isn't something you can just lie about, Curly. . . You have no idea how much mental and emotional scarring I was given. But, I should really blame myself, I shouldn't have made you harden up like that. I-I guess I was just so worried that the same thing would happen to you, that I didn't even think about how you would feel about it. . . How you would feel about me. . . I think I can accept that you'll never love me like a brother, but please - please - don't trust our dad, Curly. You'll regret it. And make sure you keep a close eye on Angela - I don't know for sure, but there's a chance he'd try to touch her too. . ."

". . ." Curly stayed silent for a while, his glare not faltering a bit. I hang my head down, not wanting to see the hatred overflowing from his eyes.

Curly started to say something when. . . _He_ walked in.

My dadn took a quick glance at me and a flash of surprise and anger came across his face, but it went away just as quickly. Curly looked over at me, then at dad, then at me again. . . and walked over to our father and stood beside him. . . loyally. . .

"So," _He_ starts, "What've you two been talkin' 'bout?" He smile innocently as if he really didn't know what we were talking about.

That made me beyond angry with him. "You know damn well what we're talking about! How you defiled me, you bastard!"

He furrowed his eyebrows as if he was confused. I gotta admit, he's a good actor. "Timmy, I don't know what you'r talkin' 'bout. I would never touch you that way! I'm not some sick pervert that would ever think about laying their hands on theri own flesh and blood!" HA! He's such a fucking liar! He even added a single tear sliding from his eye, as if he were hurt that I'd "lie" about something like that.

"Really?" I say doubtfully, "Really? That's funny, 'cause I distinctly remember you raping me everyday for two years!" My voice was rising dramatically, "But those entire two years must have been a dream!" I yell sarcastically.

"Shut the fuck up Tim!" Curly yelled, grabbing me by my collar, "Just stop lying already! I'm sick of you always getting yer way 'cause of yer big fat lies!"

I push him away and corner myself with the wall behind me. "It ain't a fuckin' lie, dammit! If it was a lie, why else would Ma kick him out?" Curly went silent.

_He_ made a sullen face and cleared his throte as if he was going to cry. "Yer mother didn't kick me out, son. . ." He quietly cleared his throte again. "I left ya'll. I left ya'll because I felt like I let ya'll down as a father; we were broke, lived in a bad neighborhood, and you kids were getting the wrong influences. Heck, ya still are! I just got so disappointed in myself, that I left. But that just made things worse, I guess. . ." He hung his head down low in fake shame.

Wow. . .

And the award for best actor of the year goes to! . . .

"Wow Dad. . . I-I didn't know you cared so much about us." . . . Realy Curly? Realy?

"Jesus Christ Curly! How the hell are you buying this load of shit?"

Dad sighs. "Alright Tim, if you'r gonna hate me fer nuthin' I can live with that. But you will NOT mistreat yer brother - yer LITTLE brother. You've stepped way over the line too many times, Timmy, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave my house."

I was so shocked that I blinked repeatedly a bunch of times, mouth agape. I even took a few steps back. "_Your_ house?" I say after finally gathering myself, "You ain't even lived here fer like, ten years! Who the hell do you think you are calling it _your_ house?"

"Timmy." My mother's voice. We all look over at the kitchen door to see here standing there, holding back sobs. "Just go." She sais, and I nearly pass out.

"M-Ma? . . . But. . . why? I-I thought you were with me me?"

"Don't make tihs harder than this has to be." She sais sternly, "Just go!"

I stood there for a few moments trying to process what's going on. . . Why? Out of all the people in the world that could turn on me. . . why does it have to be the one I trusted most? Does she not remember everything that's happened? She's the one that told me the truth about what dad was doing to me. She was the one that _comforted_ me! She's the one loved. . . the one that - _I thought_ - loved me. But no, now she's siding with bastard - that **damn** bastard - that struck and violated both her and her child. So, the only question I have left to ask the universe - to ask the HEAVANS even! - is. . . Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

. . . Can't I be loved?

After all. . . it's the only thing I've ever asked for. . .

Why? . . .


	11. You Guys

Hi! I'm sorry you thought this was a new chapter, but I have something somewhat IMPORTANT to tell you.

Since the end of the school years is coming up, I thought i'd do something special for you guys. Here they ear.

1. Two new Chapters of You Look Just Like Him.

2. A new chapter of Szayelle Made What? I know you guys have been dying for that. (though I don't know if I'll be able to do it, i'm trying to make the chapter extra-long to compensate for the year-long wait .)

3. A sequel to A Creeper in the Fog and a Stalker in the Trees. It's going to be called Non-Believers in which a bunch of kids go out into the woods for their summer vacation from collage believing all of the stories from back in the sixties about the gang were all made up by the media despite knowing a lot of people that believe in it.

Okay, so my graduation day is the 6th. If you don't see this stuff up by 5 pm, I might either be out of the house, or I changed my mind and decided to do it on the 7th.

ALSO! I'd like to give another super duper mega apology to the people following my story Szayelle Made What? I just trolled you super hard right now and I really hate having to do that! Another thing, I'm editing the chapters to it because I've noticed that some of my viewers find it hard to read because it's all bunched up in bolded writing, and I also wanted to make a few changes.

SORRY AGAIN!


	12. Snapped

With tears pouring from my eyes, I ran out the house covering my face with my hands. As soon as I burst out the door, I ran into Angela making her fall off the porch and onto the grass. But that that didnt stop me, it only slowed me down. I heard her cursing me good as I booked it down the street.

When my lungs finally started to burn, I stopped and collapsed onto the road. After I caught my breath, I took a look at my surroundings. Great. . . the West side. I sighed and tried to pull myself up. It took me a few tries, but I got up eventually.

As I stood still in the middle of the road I thought about everything that's happened.

_'Dallas is pro'ly plannin' ta kill me. That bastard dad of mine's pro'ly gonna come after me for fuckin' up his deal with those druggies, had me kicked out, convinced both Curly and Ma I ain't no good. I most likely got the Curtis gang comin' after me. I might have my own gang goin' after me - 'cause Dallas is like that. I'm deep, deep, **deep** in Soc territory. And I have no place to go. And it's definately not helpping that i'm waaaay underweight and completely out of energy with no weapon.'_

I sigh again.

With a limp in my walk, I wandered the well-paved, freshly painted streets until I find some huge park - it had to be at least three times bigger than the park down by Greaser territory. I slowly layed myself down on one of the benches.

'I guess this is fine to sleep for the night.' I think to myself. 'I just hope I wake up 'fore the Socs start headin' out in the mornin.'

A few tears started falling from my eyes - this is the point where the full weight of what's happened finally crashed down on me.

"Why?" I whisper over and over again, "Why? Why? Why? Why?"

I continue to wallow in self-pitty like a pathetic little kid until I pass out.

* * *

><p>I'm woken up when some guy pushed me off the bench I was sleeping on. I groaned and rolled onto my back, sheilding my eyes from the sunlight.<p>

"A-Are you okay, Greaser?" Dammit, a Soc found me.

Wait. . . He asked if I was okay. . .

I opened my eyes and allowed them to adjust to the sun. As I started to get used to the light, I saw that there wasn't just one, but four Socs gathered around me. Were they. . . Were they concerned for me?

"Hey! Are you alright, Grease?"

"U-Uh." I stutter, "I-I don't. . . really. . . No, I'm fine." Right then, my stomach decided to twist up into a knot making me curl up and cringe. I tried to hold back the scream coming from the back of my throte, but i only managed to stop fragments from coming up.

The group of Socs helpped to my feet. "We can't take you home with us," The one with the blue tennis club shirt said, "But we'll take you back to the east side if y-"

"No! No! No!" I blurt out before I could stop myself. I threw my hand over my mouth and hung my head down low. ". . . I mean. . . No, just, take me to the hospital."

They all stared at me. Tennis boy put his arm on my shoulder. "Why're ya' here anyway? Is there somethin' goin' down on the East side or somethin'?"

"No, just. . ." I shake my head. "It's family problems, okay?" I finally admitted. "First my mental problems get worse, then my fucking bastard dad comes back and tortures me again, he gets me hospitalized, tries to sell me to some random druggies, turns the rest of my family against me, then has me kicked out! Now I got the Curtis gang and my gang coming after me and I-I. . . I just can't take it anymore!"

I put my face into my hands as I felt the familier stinging in my eyes.

"I. . ." Tennis boy licked his lips and furrowed his eyebrows. "I dun'no. . . how to help you, guy. . . I-I'm sorry but. . . you'r on your own."

And with that said, Tennis boy and the rest of the socs walked off.

_"You'r on your own."_

"On my own. . . I. . . I always seem to be on my own, don't I?"

**Always on your own. It is because of how unlikable you are.**

"Right. . ."

**Unlikable; liked by noone.**

"Yes. . ."

**A bitter unlikable loner who's passing shall not be mourned.**

"Not be mourned."

**Shall. Not. Be. Mourned.**

"Yes. . . He'll never be mourned!"

**. . . Wait, what?**

"You'r right, noone will ever miss that bastard! That's why I should!" My voice started to have a phsycotic edge to it as it decreased in volume, making me sound all the more sinister.

**Wait!**

"That's why I should. . ."

**We're talking about _you_ here!**

"I'll KILL him!"

**Okay, you had your big stupid idea for the time being. Now why don't you pass out on the bench again and we'll call it a day?**

"This. . . Yeah! This is the only way! This is the only way I can keep him from touching Angela, from touching CURLY!"

**Stop this! Stop this right now! You will listen to me this instant!**

"Nothing can stop me now, nothing. . . nobody."

I just had to wait until night comes.

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><p><em>This is it, I'm really going to do this<em>, I thought.

I allowed myself to smirk just thinking of all the blood that's gonna splatter all over the walls, the huge burden I've been carrying finally released, the riddence of worry weighing down my heart from about such terrible things happening to my siblings, the absense of fear I've allowed to influence my beheivior for so long. Everything that's plagued me since my birth, ending with one simple act. . .

And it starts at the tip of this rusty knife.

This event feels so special to me that I named it; The Rapture. Yes, I got that idea from the Bible. For those of you who're not familier with The Rapture, it's the day that the true believers of the Christian religion are all sent to heaven, regardless if they died or not, and all the non-believers are left on earth where the holy war will take place. I felt like this name fit because by killing my father, I will be sent to my (personal) eternal peace - my paradise, my narvana - while my dad will lie in the midst of destruction - dead and cold and alone with a bloody, unrecognizable face.

**Timothy Shephard, this is my last warning! Now, as your elder, I order you to put the knife away and sleep on the park bench!**

"My elder? Really GLaDOS? You manifested in my head no more than a month and a half ago. I'm your elder."

**I-uh-well. . .Well as your intulectual superior, you must do as I say or you will be punished.**

"How're ya gonna do that? You'r just a voice in my head."

**. . .**

I laugh out loud, hysterically. "Oh what? Ya' got nothin' to say for a change? You can't hold yer own now that I'm actually trying to talk back to you? Pathetic!" I heard her growl and mutter a curse.

Ignoring the uncomfortable glances I got from some middle class couple taking a walk on the sidewalk on the opposite side of the street, I hold the sharp, rusty knife gentally with both hands onto my chest, as if it were my own child. I even stroked its side and gave it a small kiss for good measure.

I think I'll name it too. . . _Justice_. . .

My smile got wider, bared more teeth. I ran the thought through my mind again. My baby;_ Justice Bringer Shephard_.

I lick my lips. _Almost there._

I break out into a run when I round the corner to my street. _This is it!_

As soon as my foot touched the front porch, I threw open the door and stopped myself mid-stride. I waited to see if anyone responded to the noise. After a good half-minute, I chuckled under my breath. _Noone's home. Perfect!_

I made my way to my parent's room and hid behind their dresser.

_I just have to wait. . ._

**You've lost it. . .**

* * *

><p><em>Finally. Finally! He's here! He's here!<em>

I watched as he pulled something out from under the bed. A shoebox. He sat on the bed with the box on his lap. He pulled off the lid and snatched something out of it. It was a short, thick book - a photo album.

_Aw, he wants to enjoy the moments of his life looking at the memories of the family he destroyed!_

I gave the tip of Justice a lick, then I came out of my hiding place.

He looked up when he realized he wasn't alone, jumpping in surprise. "Tim!" He said, visibley panicking, "What'er ya' doin' here?"

"I'm. . . looking for blood. Got any to spare, **Dad**?" I let out a low laugh, it almost seemed demonic.

"W-Wha?" He stood up quickly as I began to close in on him.

"Noone's gonna miss you when you die. You shall not be mourned, just like she said. All the things you put this family through - all the things you put _me_ through! You're gonna pay. . . with your life!"

"N-No! No! Timmy ya' got it all wrong! I never-"

"You never what, exactly? Huh? You never stopped paying attention to me when I was a kid? You never struck my mother? You never **violated** me? Huh? O-Or did you never try to sell me to a bunch of crack heads as some slave? **HUH**?" I lick my lips. "'Cause anyone can just_ say_ something never happened, but that doesn't make it true. For example, I can say that I wasn't anywhere near the east side when you were found dead. I can say I spent two entire days moping for having lost the love of my family for good. Specially since noone we know's seen me for the time being!"

He was speechless. He attempted to croak out some words as he continued to draw distance between me and him. Too bad though, his back made contact with the wall at the far end of the room. No escape.

I suddenly grew imaptient, my expression turned dark. "Enough of this, I want to see your blood, now!"

"Tim wait!"

"Never! You'll never hurt me or my family ever again!" With a quick motion I slit his throte.

He fell back, gasping, holding his neck together in attempt to survive, but we both know that wasn't happening.

I laughed as I watched the blood flood from his throte and mouth and almost keeled over in hystarics when he started squirming right before he took his final breath.

**. . .You shouldn't have done that. . .**

"Tim!" My mother's voice.

I turned around to look at her, trying to control my laughter to listen to what she has to say. "Yeah Ma?"

"Y-You. . . you!. . . What have you done?"

I chuckled and turned back toward him to explain to her what I did, and that's when I saw it. How? How did I not see this? What was going on?

"B-But I-I. . . He!. . . When did I. . . ?" I looked at the knife in my hand, then dropped it as if it carried the plague. "I. . . I' m didn't mean. . ."

"Angela!" Mom called out to my sister, "Angela sweetie, call 911! Hurry!" She then pulled out a gun from her back pocket.

I put my hands up, not because she had a gun, but because I was so shocked that she'd pull one on me

"Y-You'r gonna get locked up fer a real long time. M-Maybe even get the chair!"

I didn't say anything to argue with her, she was right. I killed him in cold blood, and I didn't even realize that. . . ! I-I didn't even realize. . .

But, there was one thing I had to know before they take me in. "Mom-"

"Don't you pull anything, boy!"

"I-I'm not, I just. . . I just wanted to know. . . two days ago, why did you side with dad?"

"Because!. . . I-I found that damned weed in yer closet! I-I can't stick up for you any more if you'r gonna be a real hood, and real no-good hard ass! There's no way in hell i'm gonna try with you anymore if you'r gonna end up worse than your damn father anyway!"

I stared at her. . . Worse than my own father?

I didn't say anything for the remainder of that night, not when I had my face slammed on the floor, not when I got driven to the big house, not when I cracked my head into the bed frame when they threw me into my holding cell.

* * *

><p>Three days passed before they put me in front of the judge.<p>

The jury was a bunch of Socs and middle-classers, so even if I did try to justify my actions, I'd be going down.

We all had stood up when the judge walked, then sat. "The first case of the day is the state versus Timothy Shephard for murder." The balif said.

The room was quiet, too quiet for my liking. To block out the loud silence in the room, I let out a low meniecal laugh that only a few people around me could hear, and when they did, they fixed their eyes on me and shrunk back in their seats. Even the guy "defending" me scooted away.

"Timothy Shephard, how do you plead?" The judge asked.

I couldn't stop myself from smiling.

_How do I plead? Really? Is this dumbass serious?_ I chuckled darkly for the whole room to hear, but not too loud though, I still had a headache from the night I got thrown in holding. "Insanity. . . your honor." That voice I made, it sounded. . . _more_ demonic than the laugh I had that day. It even caused the guards to tense up.

I took a look around the room. _Ah!_ I thought,_ That middle-class couple'sin the jury! Perfect!_ I smiled at them making the girl wrap her arms around her boyfriend's arm.

_Perfect. . ._

* * *

><p>The time had finally come for my fate to be decided.<p>

The guy sitting at the end of the jury stood up with a peice of paper. "In the case of Timothy Shephard versus the state of Oklahoma, we find Timothy Shephard. . ."

Oh great, he's trying to be dramatic. I roll my eyes and yell, "Hurry up, Jackass!"

A few people laugh.

The guys clears his throte and tries again. "We find Timothy Shephard guilty of all accounts."

_Finally!_

The juddge spoke. "By the power invested in me, I sentance you, Timothy Shephard, to serve life in the Oklahoma Institution for the Criminally Insane." He bangged his gabble, making it final.

As I was escorted out of the room, I noticed my "family" standing in one of the rows. I didn't bother looking at Angela or Mom, I looked directly at that huge lump of Curly hair. His glaring eyes peircing through to my soul, I had to look away. I didn't pull my head back up until the door to the court room had shut behind us.

_Maybe I was so sure of what I was doing that I didn't even notice?_ I thought,_ I was so deep in the feeling of being close to being free, I hadn't even realized it._

**Your mind was hallucinating, it made you think you knew what you were doing.**

_Exactly._

**It was even beyond my comprehension. _I_ hadn't even realize it. **I heard her chuckle, and I chuckled as well.

"After all," I say out loud after me and my escorts were outside, about to board the bus that'll take me to the loony house. A crooked smile made its way onto my face and I licked my lips "Curly looked just ike him."

Sincerly,  
>Tim Shaphard<p>

* * *

><p>Sequal?<br>If you want one, there's a poll on my profile.  
>All votes posted as a review will not be counted, okay?<p> 


	13. Involving the Sequal

Okay, for those of you that followed/following this story and wanted a sequal, you'r getting it.

However, I still debating with myself over how it's gonna roll out. So I posted a poll on my profile with the choices there.

Go over and vote if you wish.

Votes posted as reviews will not be counted.

One Love,  
>Kaarie X<p> 


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